Catching the Big Bad Wolf Easily
by Dreaming Maya
Summary: Edward's ready to catch himself a WOLF. Yaoi Slash Oneshot JacobXEdward Jakeward


Hallo everyone! Now, because I'm on a high with all the reviews I got for 'Two Souls, One Family'; I decided to post another two oneshots. Please read them. Thank you to everyone who reviewed on any of my oneshots. Anyway; I originately had different title and summary which I've posted below becuase this was supposed to be longer, but I ended up writing myself into a brick wall; so I got a oneshot. I don't mind; it's all good' Read on;

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Collaring a Big Bad Wolf

–

Edward has the strength, the collar, the muzzle and the lead; now he needs the wolf … look out; Jacob Black.

–

Edward jumped into Bella's window for the first time since going to Italy to promote gay rights, which had been over a week ago, he looked wind blown, slightly, but he looked childishly happy. Bella was delighted.

"Edward!" She squealed, running over and hugging him. The reaction she got wasn't the one she wanted; which was to have cold arms surround her and embrace her fully; Edward actually chocked, gave a strange gasp, and shoved her away. But Bella understood instantly. At least that's what she thought.

"Edward! I'm so sorry! My blood is temping you; I'll stay away!" She panicked, quickly going over and sitting properly on her bed. "Oh Edward!" She gasped happily, Edward gasped too; but he looked a bit more strained …. "Edward, are you alright?" She asked. Quickly, Edward took a deep breath and looked at Bella again, a smile that she had never seen before on his face. It wasn't the smile he smiled when he was usually happy, this one actually showed his teeth and his eyes sparkled joyously, it wasn't _her_ crooked smile either, he looked so young and happy; Bella couldn't help feeling happily confused.

"I'm fine, Bella, and I want to thank you so much," He went over and clasped her hands in his, kneeling in front of her, "If I hadn't left; you wouldn't have needed Jacob, or needed to save me," He beamed. "It's because of you I've found my one _true_ love." He said firmly, still smiling, "And I owe it all to you. So thank you; so much." He said, then stood up and walked a few paces back, to give her some space. Bella blinked, the confusion increasing.

"Well; you're welcome! But … it doesn't sound like you're in love with me …." She pointed out weakly. Edward blinked, smile vanishing and the confusion Bella also felt taking over his features.

"I didn't say I was … um, Bella, I thought I told you before … I'm not in love with you." He says slowly. Bella gave a shriek.

"What! But you said you were! You _always_ said you were!" She screamed. Edward winced, when gave a half-hearted shrug.

"My feelings changed, Bella, what else can I say? I'm sorry we weren't meant to be?" He asked, uncertain. "I've never broken up with someone; and neither have you." Suddenly he smiled. "This is a good life lesson! It shows we're maturing!" He added. Bella's mouth dropped wide open.

"MATURING?" She yelled, "YOU'RE BREAKING UP WITH ME!"

Edward winced, giving another shrug.

"Well … I never said it was an _easy_ life lesson … but, y'know, I can't help what I feel, I've met someone else …." Edward mumbled, looking upset. "I know this will hurt you; but we were a bit too dangerous anyway, I want you to be _happy_, _normal happy_. And that's not with me …." He shot Bella a hurt glare, "I thought you'd want me to be happy … this isn't easy for me either …." He muttered darkly. "I still want to be friends …." Instantly, Bella's hands flew to her mouth, she looked horrified.

"Of _course_, Edward!" She said, walking up and putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. "I know this will be hard … for _both_ of us … I _want_ you to be happy, really I do," She said gently, Edward gave her a small smile, "and I definitely still want to be your friend." She added, making Edward beam again, he grabbed her by the shoulders.

"Thank you so much!" He said, his happiness making Bella laugh, "So will you help me?" He asked. Still laughing slightly, Bella nodded.

"Of course! Anything you need!" She replied cheerily. Edward set her down and actually punched the air.

"YES!" He shouted, "Because no-one else will help me; they all think I'm crazy, y'see, with who I now love," Bella felt a pang in her heart, but nodded and soldiered on. Edward smiled. "And your his friend, so you'll be a big help." Bella's smile froze on her face.

"Um … _his_ …?" She asked shakily. Edward blinked, not comprehending the question. "Edward … are you in love with a guy …?" She asked. Edward's mouth made an 'O' as he understood the question, and the smile was back on his face.

"Oh! Yep; the one I love is a he!" Edward chuckled, then his smile faded as Bella didn't move, then he began to get nervous. "Does … does that bother you?" He asked. Bella snapped herself out of it and quickly shook her head.

"N-no! Of course it doesn't bother me! Not all all!" She said quickly, waving her hands in front of her. Edward breathed a sigh.

"Thank goodness!" The vampire mumbled, then returned to smiling. "Now we can plan how to get me hooked up with Jacob!" He added. Bella blinked.

"Wait … what?" She said. Edward tilted his head, eyebrows together but still smiling.

"Didn't I tell you? The guy I love of a friend of yours. He's your best friend." Bella blinked again; her brain had stopped working. Edward gave a sigh, but quickly shook his head. "Bella … I love Jacob. I'm in love with Jacob Black." He said clearly. Bella's brain kicked in.

"WHAAAAT!"

"Oh Bella! Don't yell!" Edward chided. "It's too late at night!" Bella stumbled to her bed and sat down. Edward sat down on her computer chair.

"But you love Jacob!" She shouted. Edward nodded, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Not so loud!" He hissed happily, "It's the first time I've said it!" Bella blinked again; shock made her eyeballs dry.

"Wait … how long have you realised you were in love with Jacob?" She asked. Edward shrugged.

"Two days ago; actually." He said conversationally. Bella scoffed.

"You only _met_ him two days ago!" She said. Edward glared.

"So! I love him! And you said you'd help me!" Edward had started out defensive and angry, then broke down to pleading at the end. Bella sighed, then nodded.

"I did promise you …." A sneaky idea wiggled into her head, "B-but! This is hurting me so much!" She sobbed, then chocked on air as Edward scoffed rudely.

"So?" He yelled back, "I haven't seen Jacob in two days! I'm hurting too!" He whined. "I tried to say hi when we met; but he glared at me! _Glared_! _At me_! Why does my love hate me …?" Edward heaved a sigh, then shot up. "We shall plan tomorrow! You need sleep; and _I_ need to write a ballad about my love for him! I'll call it 'Falling in love with Jacob Black; version number seventeen hundred and eighty five!'" With that, Edward gave Bella a quick hug and jumped out the window. Bella blinked, now alone in her room.

It wasn't fair; when Edward fell in love with her, he brooded and sulked until he started trying to approach her; and that took him _weeks_! Plus he didn't re-compose her lullaby seventeen hundred and eighty five times ….

Now Edward loves _Jacob_, however, he's insanely happy and wants to talk to him as soon as possible! Plus he's made seventeen hundred and eighty five songs for him!

Bella clenched her hands into her bedsheets. She would not allow this! She'll give Edward all the wrong information; and Jacob hates Edward anyway, so he want put up with it!

With that evil, slash-stopping, cock-blocking thought in her head, she grabbed her phone and called Jacob.

_Ring ring ring ring ri-_

"Mm … 'ello?"

"Jake! I'm so sorry; did I wake you …?"

"No way Bells! Whazzup?"

"_Well_ … I don't know if I should tell you this …."

"Is there something wrong? Bells? Are you alright?"

"Oh, I'm fine! It's about Edward …."

"Oh? Oh! Oh …."

"Um, anyway, he … he broke up with me …."

"What! That bitch doesn't know what he ditched! It's okay Bella; he's probably going to emo in a corner then come crawling back to you!"

"But … don't you want me?"

"Um … Bella; you're too upset to think about this clearly-"

"No I'm not!"

"Okay! You're not … but I, um, don't really … I sorta … got over … um, you."

"What?"

"I … I imprinted on someone, Bella. And it's not you."

"WHO! You have to tell me now, Jacob! Because Edward wants- …. Just; please tell me."

"Actually …. Do you still have feelings for Edward?"

"Eh? Do I … do you mean … _oh_ … Jacob! You really did imprint on me! Don't worry; I have no feelings what so ever for that guy!"

"What? Bella! I didn't imprint on you!"

"What? Then why did you ask …?"

"I don't want to hurt you but … I love Edward. I imprinted on _him_. Sorry."

"I …."

"I'm so sorry Bells! I know you probably don't want to talk to me ever again-"

"THIS IS JUST GREAT! FIRST EDWARD FUCKING _THANKS_ ME FOR INTRODUCING YOU GUYS, THEN HE BRAKES UP WITH ME, THEN HE GOES ON ABOUT FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU! NOW _YOU'VE_ IMPRINTED ON HIM, AND YOU'LL _GET_ A FOREVER AFTER AND I WON'T!"

"What! Edward … he likes me? R-really?"

"Dammit … FINE YOU HAVE MY BLESSING! BUT I WANT PICTURES!"

_-click_-

"Okay, what just happened?"

_ring ring ring ri-_

"Um … Jacob Black speaking?"

"Hello, this is-"

"Hi Edward."

"H-hi …."

"Y'know, Bella told me something pretty interesting just now …."

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And then Jakeward happens. The End. Thanks for reading, please R&R! (^3^)/~333


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